


A devious plan

by Big_ball_of_anxiety_and_cake



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Aziraphale being adorable, Crack, Crowley Being an Idiot (Good Omens), Fluff, I just had this idea, I love how that is a tag, Las Vegas, M/M, Marriage, Not Beta Read, everyone ships it, how is that not a tag?, propably really bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-15
Updated: 2020-09-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:40:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26480548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Big_ball_of_anxiety_and_cake/pseuds/Big_ball_of_anxiety_and_cake
Summary: Gabriel and Beelzebub will get married soon and Crowley simply will not stand for it. They should be the first angel and demon to get married! But he is too awkward to just ask Aziraphale so instead he devises a truly devious plan.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 33





	A devious plan

The card laid on the table. Almost innocently. Like it couldn’t hurt a soul. 

Crowley glared at it angrily. He had half a mind to miraculously set it on fire but that would be a waste of miracles and also he was a big demon who didn’t have to result to such petty revenge. He only took petty revenge on Tuesdays. It was Thursday now. Next Tuesday he could blow it up. But that would be too late.

Crowley glared some more.

The card had slipped into their shared house with the rest of the mail. Too late had he seen the ghastly glitter and the divine glow. If only he had seen the sender adress!

The card came from Heaven and announced the wedding of Archangel Gabriel of Heaven and Lord Beelzebub of Hell set for this very Sunday.

A wedding between a angel and a demon, formerly regarded as a disgrace, was widely accepted these days. When he and Aziraphale had first started dating, the forces of Heaven and Hell had been horrified but when their leaders had done it, they merely wished them well.

Bloody suckups.

And now this. The first ever marriage between an angel and a demon. It shouldn’t be these too. It couldn’t be these too. It should be them! They had first defied the rules and declared their love! They should be the first to seal it before God herself!

There was really only one option.

Crowley would have to marry Aziraphale before Sunday.

There was only one problem: They had never even talked about it. Sure, they had been dating for a while but it had just never come up. They always thought they still had time. They were immortal after all.

But now their time was running out and Crowley didn’t dare to walk up to his lover and ask him. It was impossible! How did humans do this?! No, there was only one thing Crowley could do.

He would simply marry Aziraphale without him noticing.

It would be easy enough. He had already made a devious plan. The angel would fall right into his trap and everything would work out. It was genius! Nothing could go wrong!

Pity he had thought the same about raising the Antichrist.

\-------------------

It was indeed not overly hard to start on the first few stages of his plan.

He simply took Aziraphale to Vegas. Where else could you get married so quickly? The angel seemed a bit surprised at the sudden vacation but simply shrugged and decided he would use the opportunity to help all the lost souls there. So they piled into the Bentley and drove to Vegas. There might be an ocean between London and Vegas but that was no obstacle to divine beings like them. They arrived after just a few hours. The gas tank was only half empty. Being a demon had its perks.

And so the first stage of their plan was complete.

After that he only needed to lure Aziraphale into a church, pay the priest to mumble or something so that Aziraphale didn’t know what was going on and then somehow get him to say ,,Yes, I do.“

Easy-peasy!

Only that he had underestimated his boyfriend. With neverending enthusiasm the angle threw himself into helping the people of this town. People would suddenly win Millions under shady circumstances and Aziraphale would turn to him with a smile, unaware that the person he had ‚helped‘ was being dragged away by security behind his back.

Then Vegas would whisk them away again.

Crowley couldn’t say he didn’t have fun. It was hard not to when Aziraphale was around. And they did good too. Occasionally people got to keep their miraculously earned money and walked out with a smile. If they would spend it well or at least morally, was questionable but they were happy and then Aziraphale was happy too and Crowley was always happy when Aziraphale was.

Win-win-win.

But it did make it sort of hard to keep track of time. Crowley simply forgot to drag Aziraphale to a church because he was enjoying himself too much. At some point he looked at his watch and realised in horror that it was not Thursday anymore but indeed Sunday already, mere hours before the dreaded wedding.

Shit. No time to explain..He simply walked right over to where Aziraphale was idly chatting to some casino goers, grabbed his arm and started dragging him towards the nearest church. Aziraphale quickly excused himself from the conversation and started walking alongside him.

,,Where are we going?“

,,I have important bussssinessssss to attend. I need you!“ Crowley just hissed. His snake voice always came through when he was nervous. It annoyed him but Aziraphale seemed to find it endearing so he had stopped being embarrassed by it.

Aziraphale did not seem satisfied by this answer but he at least stopped asking. They rounded one last corner, he threw open the church doors and…

Shit.

Of course they had to choose this church. Inside sat the forces of Heaven and Hell, watching Gabriel and Beelzebub who had stopped halfway up the aisle at their sudden entrance. Crowley froze. Then he went very red.

,,No, no, no!“, he yelled. ,,You are not going to be the first angel and demon to get married! It’s suppossed to be ussss! And it will! Aziraphale, will you marry me?!“  
,,Ehmm…oh….yes, dear?“, the angel said uncertainly, scratching his head.

,,Good!“ Crowley started to waltz up the aisle, past his former superior. Aziraphale followed, slightly confused by the situation. He then grapped the priest by his lapels and brought him in close. His splitted tongue and sharp teeth were clearly visible by now.

,,Marry usssss!“, Crowley hissed.

The priest swallowed hard and did as he was asked. Vows, rings, kiss. Everything went smoothly and without interruption. Maybe not as heartfelt as it should be but it happened all the same.

And then they were married.

Aziraphale still seemed mildly bewildered but happy. Crowley on the other hand was absolutely ecstatic.

,,Ha! Fist marriage between an angel and a demon! Think you could go first?! Oh, no! We were first! We did it! Hahahaha!!! What do you say to that?!“

Gabriel and Beelzebub seemed entirely unimpressed. Muffled laughter was coming from the spectators. Crowley pretended not to notice.

Then Gabriel cleared his throat. ,,I did not expect this plan of yours to work.“

Beelzebub shrugged. ,,I told you so.“

,,Plan? What plan?“ Now it was Crowley’s turn to be confused. What in God’s/Satan’s/somebody’s sake were they talking about?

,,Crowley dear“, Aziraphale said awkwardly and pointed up at the banner over the altar:  
Aziraphale & Crowley

Crowley’s face went very red indeed. The laughter in the audience became more pronounced.

,,We knew you two would never do it without a little incentive and, quite frankly, we were sick of your pining. We thought it would be over when you finally started dating but no. Turns out a little jealousy is just what you needed to finally make the step.“

Crowley looked between Gabriel and Beelzebub who had apparently just organised his wedding. He didn’t know what to say. So, as a demon, he opted for swearing.  
,,Son of a-!“

THE END


End file.
